Collect your days and save them in a diary, that way you'll have them when you write your memoirs. Most the writers I know have a diary, a journal, or a log. Writing about themselves is as much a part of their life as the poems and stories they enlighten us with. When a writer comes across a lost and forgotten daily collection of thoughts from an unknown source it lights a fire under their imagination and magic words begin to flow. Like the foam on a raging river new stories and poems are formed.
July 9- My first entry, two days after my father’s death. Dad told me on his death bed that a wise man keeps a journal. He said it would be a record I could use if I ever wrote my memoirs. I always intended to write things down but I never got around to it, so I've decided to honor my daddy's request and give it a try.
July 10- I’m 21 years old and I’ve worked for my father since I was old enough to pitch a bale of hay. We lived a good life on a small farm between Helper and Price, Utah. My dad was a hard working, honest man who worked 18 hours a day to provide for his family. Dad bought our 60 acre farm just as our country was making a comeback from the big depression of the early 30’s. Through hard work and sweat he managed to survive the devastating effects of the economic disaster that virtually hit everyone, rich or poor. My dad’s greatest desire was financial freedom, not so much for himself, but for all of his family. He worked himself to death trying to make this dream come true. Unfortunately before he died he made several bad investments losing everything he worked a lifetime for, the real cause of his death was a broken heart.
July 12- Today is dad’s funeral and I’m preparing a eulogy to give in front of the family and friends. I loved my dad with all my heart and I want to pay tribute in the best way I can but I’m having trouble finding the right words. He gave so much love to all of us but his intentions, though honorable, will be buried with him.
As I spoke at the funeral the tears filled my bloodshot eyes and I got all choked up and couldn’t finish the eulogy. I was so emotionally upset that I had to be helped from the pulpit. I’d been in a blue haze but the fog was lifting and I could see this was all real. I was crying for the first time and I couldn’t get the tears to stop. My dad was really gone.
July 13- I can’t believe the lack of compassion the money mongers of this world have. While the funeral was in session the bank was auctioning off all of dads lifelong possessions, he must be crying in his grave.
July 20- A week has gone by and I’m helping mom and my sister settle in their new apartment near Helper. Helper is a small coal miner’s town. The apartment is small, but it’s adequate, at least it’s a roof over their heads. As for myself, I’ve been staying in the back room at the place where I work.
July 21- Sis is fixing a pot roast as a welcome home dinner. She’s invited her boy friend Richard and the four of us will have somewhat of a party. It will be a while before we’ll all be together again, because I have been accepted on a scholarship at the U of U, in Salt Lake City.
July 24- I got up early this morning because today is a statewide Holiday in Utah. It’s the day we commemorate the arrival of the Mormon pioneers in 1847. It’s a family tradition to go to the sunrise services on Easter and The Days of 47. Mom and sis are here to go to the services with me and afterwards the parade and the evening fireworks. As far as I know the 24th is only celebrated in Utah.
July 29- It is hard to write in my journal every day, most of my time is spent studying. I enjoy reading a lot, So I’m looking for literary scholarships or writing scholarships located here in Salt Lake City. The scholarship I have just barely covers my tuition so I have to work part time jobs in order to get by. Working part time cuts into my study time so I’m having a real hard time. My grades are not as good as they should be or could be.
August 2- The ladies in the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority gave a wild party last night and invited male students outside of fraternities. At first I turned down the invitation but my roommate insisted I go, he said I was working too hard and I needed a female for rest and relaxation. That’s what he said, but it’s not what he meant. The girls I met were too damn crazy so I didn’t get that kind of R & R. Anyway I drank too much and I got one hell of a hangover.
August 7- I’m really having a hard time in my crucial classes, if I don’t start retaining what is taught I’m going to fail math and biology. It’s not that I’m dumb (maybe it is) I just can’t get things to sink in, using repetition just isn’t working. Jason, my roommate, gave me some uppers; he said they’d work like a charm. He said take one before you dive into your home work and you’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll learn.
August 16 - Wow! The pills Jason gave me really work but I have had to double and triple the dosage. I’ve gone from a failing grade to straight A’s. The only problem is, I stay alert all the time, I’m way to hyper to sleep.
August 19- Today, I met the most gorgeous gal on campus, her name is Tammy and she’s got the most beautiful flaming red hair. When she smiles she creates an emotional explosion inside my heart. I asked her if she’d like to go dancing, she said yes, now I’m one happy guy. I think I’m in love!
August 28- Is it normal to want to be liked by all my peers? What good is success if you don’t have friends to share it with? If I really want to be in their clicks then I have to go to their parties. There is a party almost every night, there goes my study time. Damn it I just got my grades up where they should be...
September 26- I’ve been burning the candle from both ends and it’s beginning to take its toll. My grades are going down again and I’m starting to look like shit warmed over. Jason gave me some downers and they worked for a couple days but now I’m on the outside looking in. I’ve got to change my ways soon or I’ll lose everything.
October 26- Last night I got drunk and today my nerves are shattered. I’m sitting in a local bar trying to drink my troubles away. To hell with school, I just don’t care anymore...
Nov 1- I fell into a trap of the abusive nature. I forgot all of the morals learned in my childhood. Now I’ve hit the bottom, the only ways up. I need help and the only one that can help me is God. I forsook him, I hope he will listen.
Nov 3- I’m back in the class room to seriously face up to the terms of my scholarship. I swear to God I’m not going to lose it. I slipped but now I’m back to stand tall. If for nothing else I’ve learned a great lesson.
Nov 5- Tammy left me a message; after all I’ve done she still wants to see me. Gee it would be nice if we could start over again.
Nov 7- It has been five months since dad left us; I remember all the father/ son talks we use to have. Dad always had the answers whenever I needed guidance. God I miss him, I’d like to put my arms around him and give him a big hug.
Nov 8- Today is half term exams, I spent all last night cramming. This morning I asked God to help me. I’m sure he has forgiven me for all the screw ups I’m made since daddy died. Dad will be up there watching when I take my tests.
Hey Dad, I’m gonna make you proud!
Nov 18- I have been putting my whole heart and soul into my studies. I’m obsessed in making my grade average way above average. I have to make myself worthy to carry on my dad’s name. Dad died in vain trying to give me, mom, and sis all the good things the world has to offer. I want to walk in his shoes and make all his earthly dreams come true. If it’s going to happen it is all up to me.
Nov 20- I don’t know why but lately when I write in my journal most of my thoughts are of my dad. I keep reminiscing about the happy times he made possible, our hunting and fishing trips and the times we’d talk man to man, father and son. My dad was a self educated man and he survived on brawn not brain yet in many ways he was the smartest man I’ve ever known.
Nov 21- Tammy and I are going steady and someday I’ll make her my wife. When God made her, he made her especially for me. She makes me whole and gives me the strength I need to carry on besides all that she makes me extremely happy. Today’s her birthday and I going to do my best to make it a day she’ll never forget.
Nov 22- Today is the fourth Thursday in November, Thanksgiving Day. Tam and I are cooking a special dinner for mom, sis and several of our closest friends. I get to cook the turkey, dressing and mash potatoes and gravy. Tam will bake the rolls and pies and together will put on a gourmet feast fit for a king. I love cooking and it makes me happy when my guests love what I cook.
Nov 26- Today starts the fourth quarter of the school year. I’ve got a brand new course I’m taking called Article Writing. A friend of mine makes a good living writing articles so I thought I might try it part time I could really use the extra money. I haven’t chosen my major yet but I have been thinking about literature or something related to literature. Anyway I’ve got this quarter to think about it.
Nov 27- About a year ago I started playing online poker and I got hooked almost immediately. I found out that my instinct to spot bluffers was really good. The different kinds of poker games fascinate me so at one time or another I’ve learned how to play them all. I’m a natural, I know when to bet, I know when to bluff and I know when to fold. Because of my natural ability I win more times then I lose. I like to get into the tournaments the challenge excites me and the possibilities are limitless. I usually get into a game on Tuesdays or Fridays, that is; if I don’t have a date with Tam or have to cram for an exam. I’m in a tournament now and tonight I have a chance to advance to the final table.
Nov 30- Last Tuesday night I made it to the final table in the poker tournament; everybody wins at the final table. I came in third and the prize money was $1100, not bad for three hours of enjoyable work. I’ll spend my winnings on a diamond engagement ring I’ve got on lay-a-way for Tammy. Only $2200 more it it will be all hers.
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